Friday, 18 July 2014

DAY OF RECKONING

I heard this story from a friend of a friend of my wife and thought it should be, if not immortalised at least put on some sort of record. It may even be true
A performance piece for a mature lady.

DAY OF RECKONING

Yes --I'm OK thank you young man-- too kind-- no I didn't fall-- though I suppose I looked a bit awkward trying to get comfortable on the sand. Anyway I'm quite settled now---- this is where I used to come when I was a girl--- I'd sit for hours watching the sea. I loved it but I haven't been here for years--- my husband wouldn't bring me-- he said Blackpool was dirty. noisy. smelly and common and he wouldn't be seen dead here.He used to take me to Southport, he said it was more refined---- I thought it was dull--you were lucky if you caught a glimpse of the sea which always seemed to be flar and boring--- a bit like him--- not like here where there's plenty life.He was a bit la-di-da was Tom-- his mother's fault--when he passed for Grammar School she treated him as God's gift--always called him Thomas- it was bound to affect him I suppose.We got on OK most of the time---just ignored each other's faults like most 'happily marrieds'. It was an accident us getting wed in the first place, well the usual kind of accident that used to end up in marriage.Surprise you does it? Thought your generation invented sex did you?---everybody thinks so. He used to get on my nerves always wanting something better, something he couldn't have, it made him a right misery at times.I suppose his job didn't help--- called himself a manager but all he did was organise deliveries from the carpet store upstairs.They say we shouldn't speak ill of the dead-- why not? I say-- it can't hurt them can it? I suppose that amongst all the niggles and arguments of married life the one thing that really upset me was that he wouldn't bring me here. Seems silly doesn't it but sometimes it's the little things that nag at you , like having a stone in your shoe or well, lots of things--- Have you got a knife?---You youngsters always seem to carry knives these days--- thank you-- I can't seem to get this damned plastic super-seal bag open--- Ah--- that's done it--- thank you---better put that away..
There we are---no it's not sand---paler isn't it? I was surprised at the colour myself though I didn't know what to expect.---If I make a hole next to this post and empty the bag into it, mix it up and put this little dead crab on top that should do it--- there we are---there we are---really I should say,--- here we are at last.
What?---
The bag?
Oh didn't I say---they're Tom's ashes, he was cremated just last week.

Monday, 7 July 2014

FUNERAL MUSIC

It's easy to defer things which have a limited time available for action and this thought prompted me to write the following as a phone call to my nearest and dearest survivor;-

FUNERAL MUSIC
Hi,
I've just come from the hospital, not good news I'm afraid, so I thought I'd give you a ring to remind you of the arrangements we discussed and I just remembered that we didn't mention music and I thought I'd better give you some idea of what I'd like, not that I'll hear it of course. You know I'm not one for church music or churches for that matter but for a start perhaps the first piece on that CD 'Officium' by the Hilliard
ensemble which sounds suitably solemn and religious and earthbound until Jan Garbarek's soprano sax soars above them like a soul's release into the heavens which I hope may be the case and it could be a moment for everyone to meditate on life and death and all that stuff.You can borrow it from the library if you you don't have a copy, I seem to have lost mine, did I lend it to you? Then for a bit of nostalgia the most aching yearning piece of music that I know, the fourth movement of Mahler's fifth which he wrote for his wife Alma.(We won't say any more about her will we?) Then there's Sibelius one and two not forgetting the fifth and I couldn't leave out Beethoven could I? the Eroica, the Emperor not forgetting the violin concerto and perhaps some Bruch. Then for a bit of variety that recording of 'Baillero' from 'Songs of the Auvergne' sung by Victoria de los Angeles it should be in the bureau, second shelf  I think if I didn't lend it to you and what could be more perfect than 'E Lucevan le Stelle' where Cavaradossi is waiting to be executed and sings of his life and love of Tosca, there's a tape of the Callas recording in the rack with di Stefano singing the aria or the other with Carreras and---what? -- they only allow 5 minutes between cremations!!!!! Are you sure??
In that case we'd better have Peggy Lee singing 'After You've Gone'.